Today is a hard day. I have to face some stuff that I have been putting off for a long time. But enough is enough and I’m under pressure from family and close friends to talk to more people about my anxiety. Often it’s good to be anxious as it makes for a lot of energy and ideas. But when there’s too much it is dangerous and debilitating and the ideas turn to shit and don’t get realised anyway.
So here’s a joke to lighten my day. I used to say this kind of thing whenever anyone tried to give me advice that I didn’t like. I would blame people and places and circumstances for my mistakes. But the same kind of patterns have played themselves out on a few different continents and with lots of different people. I’m the kind of person who tries to fix everything alone. I avoid doctors for all injuries like the plague as far as possible. But I’m at the point now when I’m realising my own limits and accepting that I often don’t know best.
Most of the time I am quite happy and contented. But for quite a few months of each year I feel like a complete fucking train wreck and can hardly sleep and forget to eat.
I’m sick of it now and I need a rest before I carry on. Without such nice family and friends I wonder where I would be now. More and more I realise how important it is to keep close to them. Together we’re much stronger. Alone we’re crazy fools.
Thank You.
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